Just trying to delay my work

I am so freaking tired...I want my sleep back!
I can barely keep my eyes open while I am typing my hospital placement diary (from last week), diaries are such a pain in the ass. I can't even keep up with whatever diary that I have ever owned in my whole 22 years and now I am forced to update my placement diary everyday (which I still don't unless I have free time there). I don't even update my blog often enough!

I am going through Outpatient rotation this week and my god you have to dispense medications and counsel patients in BM there! OMG! My BM is so terrible let alone Chinese language, I chose to be a pharmacist in the wrong country! Guess I'll have to work with what I have. Tomorrow's my turn to dispense and counsel on MDI use. In BM. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Staying in Vista kills. There is nothing here! It's almost like a prison, except that the living conditions are not as bad. Still...people who live here have no life whatsoever, now I know why they can be so studious and score so well during tests. Because all they can do here is study. I am not saying everyone but most people who live here

Just got off on the phone with mom and i was complaining of the boredom here and she told me "Who ask you to stay there?". It's not that I want tooooooooo......I was forced tooooooo....I miss my home...ma, I want to go home!

This is just great

Isnt' it great when your patients can finally be discharged from hospital?

Especially when your cases have to be clerked till they are discharged.

I was so glad just now that two of my patients can be discharged.

But at the final moment, they were forced to remain at the hospital for further observation.

One minute I was so elated and the next it's like someone threw a huge bucket of iced water in my face. Ouch. 

Yet another whiny post

It has been so long since I last blogged that I almost forgot how to create a new post.
It was such a busy semester with all the research stuff going on and the pain is agonising. Thank God research is finally over. How did I live through those days of inadequate sleep and doing lab work from 9 in the morning till 9 at night and the one month break that was meant to be a break for me ended up as a non-break because I had to deal with the whole research dissertation and some other things...but anyway all of that is in the past now.

Now I am in my final semester and I have to go for hospital placement in December. When everyone else is going for holidays and haveing their vacations. And I am stuck in a hospital clerking cases. Of course I am not the only one, everyone in B105 has to go through the same thing. Guess I can't complain as much then. But still...

Anyway, I'm still counting down the days till you come back PaoEe. Faster come back...........

Friend?

True friends are hard to come by these days. A friend is defined as a person, who is usually not a member of your family, whom you know well and whom you like a lot. Like it or not, friends influence us in many ways, and some "friends" will try to change you into something you are not and most of the times the new you is not a person you can like or be proud of.

I do not like it when "friends" spread hurtful words and rumours about other friends no matter how true they are. And the worst of these type of "friends" are those that can do this with malicious intent and glee. Utterly disrespectful. It is almost like an addiction to them. They do this because they feel that they are alone and they do not want you to have other friends other than him/herself. These "friends" talk bad about other people to you so that you cannot face them without feeling ashamed or being fake as now you know something that you should not know about them, and eventually you will drift away from other people and you can only turn to these supposed "friends".

Light gossipping is one thing but "friends" who spread venomous gossip about others is an entirely different story altogether and beware of these "friends" as they can declare that they are your "friend" in this moment and backstab you in the next second when you are not looking.

Another type of "friend" that I despise are those that put you or other people down in the face just to make him/herself feel better about themselves. These "friends" are those who know that they are lacking in many ways but they choose to put someone else down or hurt the feelings of others just to prove to themselves that somehow they are superior beings to others instead of working on their weaknesses or trying to look at themselves in a positive light. Hopeless.

Also, there are "friends" who take other people for granted when they themselves do not want others to take them for granted. What hypocrites.

The traits of these "friends" is too long to list in one post. Human nature can be so ugly sometimes.

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

Last Friday I was doing FTIR in the lab and it was a day that was a bit on the disastrous side, but the disasters did not come from me hehe. It was Nithiya who started the disaster with the vacuum dessicator (do not pry for more information or he will whine to me or go on his famous rampage =p) and I told Wai Leong about it. This was what happened after that...

Wai Leong was cleaning the mortar with ethanol and he was saying "Haih..Nithiya is becoming a disaster..." and at the same time he was placing the bottle containing ethanol on the table i saw a drip fell onto the table and I was thinking "It couldn't have fallen into the weighing boat containing the KBr right?" but when I went over and checked the weighing boat, part of the KBr in it was already soaked in ethanol and cannot be used anymore, so Nithiya had to re-weigh the KBr again. Just imagine the situation I was in. I couldn't stop laughing cause Mr. Disaster calling another person disaster is like the pot calling the kettle black.

After that there was this time when Wai Leong squirted some of the ethanol on the KBr disc and the papers underneath the disc were handwritten notes using gel ink. And the ink spread beautifully across the paper. Luckily those were not my papers, if not all hell will break loose.

And some time after that, Wai Leong was picking up the weighing boat from the table and he somehow lost his grip on the weighing boat and some of the KBr spilt from the weighing boat. I was laughing so hard till my sides hurt cause I remembered Wai Leong's earlier comment while he went out to tell Nithiya he had to re-weigh the KBr again. This is such a joke. I will never get bored working with these people I tell you. No hard feelings Wai Leong and Nithiya. =)

Ramblings

It was such a huge relief after I was done with my research proposal presentation last Friday. Luckily the presentation went well, I was all nerves the whole time before the presentation but when the time came and I was sitting in MPH 4, I was so calm it felt weird. There's no use to freak out when something is inevitable right? But I was happy with the results in the end. =)

I'm still not used to this whole research thing. I have not officially started yet so I am not as busy as the others and I'm not used to having free time. It almost feels like I'm wasting my time not doing or achieving anything like in previous semesters where there was no time for anything else. Guess IMU has trained us well in using every second of our waking moment working towards something. But things seem to be a bit too calm now...almost like the calm before a big storm...a bit creepy...anyway I think things will start to get busy soon...

Speaking of which, I joined the "B105 gathering/dinner" on Monday at the Overseas restaurant at Sri Petaling on Monday night. The food was terrible in the sense that it did not taste as good as those at the other Overseas branches and it was so not worth my money which is a lot for this kind of meal and the atmosphere was so-so. Plus, I was so not in the mood that day. I don't know why. Not going to comment anymore. What's done is done so I'm just going to get over it and move on.

Feelings in Speech?

Last week I had a mock presentation with my supervisor and I received a comment that I presented unfeelingly. He said that my pronounciation was fine but that I did not speak confidently or persuasive enough. This is not the first time that anyone commented that I speak unfeelingly.

The other time was when I was asking this simulated patient some questions about his health and this lecturer told me "You do not seem concerned for the patient. I feel that it is in the way that you are speaking to him." Sigh. I did feel concerned for the mock patient but I just did not project it in my speech. It is not necessary to project your every emotion into your speech right?

It is not that I do not want to but I know that I do have a problem in expressing all my feelings through my speech other than anger or sarcasm (yes I know this and some others do too) but nevertheless I am somehow always misunderstood as a cold, unfeeling person. Sigh. I have to work this thing out somehow and try to inject more feelings into my speech in the future. And I am also trying very hard to not fall sick until my proposal presentation is over. Keeping my fingers crossed for my presentation!